See what is.
The tape playing
in the back of our minds
often distracts us from
what is right in front of us.
Taken together,
“see what is”
are three challenging words.
Pausing
several times a day
to check
whether
the tape in my mind
is
related
to
what is right
in front of me
can bring me
into
the present moment.
livinglinesreflections.com
Loss
of a loved one,
a family member,
is a stark
reality
of life.
There is
no way out.
Anticipating
a loved one’s death
offers no
preparation.
Expectation,
no matter
how long,
does not
offer
a roadmap.
Once the rituals
whatever they are
have ended,
each of us
are
on our own.
Friends may console,
prayers said,
but in each moment
reminders
present
the harshness
of raw
physical,
emotional,
spiritual
change.
When
tears wet
my eyes
or sobs
move my
body,
it is a relief.
Pent-up
emotions
erupt
on grief’s
own schedule.
There is no
measurement
of the tears, the sadness.
The shadows
linger.
“Are you over it yet?”
a friend was asked
six weeks after her husband died.
There should be
no expectation
or impatience
with someone’s
time of
mourning.
There may be
stages,
but each person
marks their own.
There may be
light
with the shadows.
Sometimes.
A smell,
a glimpse
of someone who
reminds of
the loved one.
The depth and length
of grief
may
reflect the
intensity
of love
between
the
one
who has died
and those
left to mourn.
Life
Death.
Kindness.
Please.
Pictures remind
Easter finery.
New bonnet,
Spring coat, perhaps
passed down
through
sisters and cousin.
New dress,
polished shoes
or new
patent leather!
Small flower corsage
from Daddy.
Some may still
dress this way
for Easter services,
I may admit to
a little envy.
We looked our best
or so it seemed.
The best outside dress-up
cannot cover up
the violence of
terror or the
insulting language
in the political campaign.
Steady reams of
news
proclaim
more crucifixion
than resurrection.
There are many
moments
of love and caring,
even random
acts of kindness.
What will it take
to dress up
ourselves,
our families and friends,
our neighborhoods
and our world
with sincere conversion
from the inside out.
Real love and kindness
generate
warmth and smiles.
How can we
dress
ourselves
with the
realization
that
we are all
in this world together?
Respect
for
each and every other,
dressed in finery
or clothes unfamiliar.
Garments given away
clothe
those without anything.
Respect
is the best
place
to begin.
We all
can dress ourselves best
caring for
each other.
Amen.
We may judge
others’
outsides
from our own
insides.
Do we look
at others
as calm,
in control,
on top of things?
For many people,
it takes
a lot of
effort
to put
themselves
together.
What you see
is the result
of that effort,
not
the challenge
of
getting there.
When I have been
more willing
to reveal
some of my
inner feelings,
the
result can be
closer
relationships.
Tomorrow
is
my birthday.
Decades declare milestones.
At certain ages
there can be
the realization
that there are fewer
years ahead
than
already lived.
Mid-life
it is called.
Demographers
and cultural observers
now offer
more gradations than
young,
middle aged
and old.
Early middle age,
middle age
late middle age.
At what point
does your category
become early old age?
Are you in
middle old age
and when
really old age?
For some,
lifespans
extend into the ninth and
even tenth decade.
When Social Security
was made available
at 65,
people weren’t
expected to live
much beyond that.
For some,
there can be
many decades
beyond
that mark.
How to live
these years,
whatever they are called?
Wisdom
offers
the suggestion
to shed
as we age.
Things,
images of ourself,
expectations,
hopes,
dreams,
disappointments.
Shedding
seems to say
that
growth stops
at some point.
Adults
we are.
Approaching
this birthday,
I am beginning
to understand
that letting go
is a better perspective
of what no longer
serves me.
Traveling
lighter,
I
hope
I
am
Growing
Into
Older
Age.
Learning,
growing.
Shifting gears,
slows me
to follow
the Inner Light
to savor
each moment,
each friend,
loved one
and stranger.
Sometimes the
Light
offers
a clear path.
Sometimes
intuition
brings
me on the path
I cannot
see
in this moment.
Thought Leaders
are especially
important
during times of
Disruptive Innovation,
a concept
used in
this time
when things
aren’t working
and ways of thinking and doing
must be changed.
Since Pope Francis was chosen,
he has become a
powerful
THOUGHT LEADER.
From his first moments
Pope Francis
showed his
humility
asking for us
to pray for him.
He chose
simple garments,
comfortable black shoes,
paid his own hotel bill,
moved into a
simple apartment.
During Holy Week,
he washed the feet of the poor,
not all Catholics.
He told priests
to be merciful and compassionate
towards those who are divorced
women who have had
abortions.
When asked about homosexuals,
he replied,
“Who am I to judge?”
Smiling,
he loves everyone
and in return,
he is loved.
The rules have not necessarily changed,
but the
TONE
has completely.
This change in tone is
Francis’
greatest achievement,
and it is HUGE!
In this
political season,
candidates
could learn
because Pope Francis
is an astute politician
in the best sense of the word.
As a South American
he sees the entrenched Vatican
as needing to be cleaned up,
finances and favoritism,
swept out.
Reflecting
compassion.
the tone,
the message
is that God is a God
of LOVE,
not JUDGMENT.
The Church’s role
is to make God
accessible.
Coming to the United States,
his first trip to North America,
he will speak
at the United Nations,
address Congress,
say Mass in Madison Square Garden.
Popular entertainers will
engage people,
using their words and music
to
open up people’s senses
to the music of their hearts.
Disruptive Innovation.
Bring it on!
Innovation!
The buzz word
showing up on the covers of many magazines
and college and universities news
informs us that
we are living in a time
where
innovation
will take us
and keep us
ahead
in new products,
ways of thinking,
empowering us
to live
life fully and keep us
ahead
of the rest of the world.
Winners
we must be.
Topics
include, energy, robotics, medicine, health care,
education,how to teach and what to teach.
New products
usually include
electronics
and electronic ways
of communicating
monitoring,
running machines,
managing our lives
from our smart phones.
Spending many hours
at the
Genius Bar
at my local Apple Store,
my helper’s back pocket revealed
another brand,
simpler
cell phone.
With plenty of
time to talk
while he troubleshooted
my computer for a
repeat problem,
he told me that
he had started as
a car mechanic.
When cars and their motors and functions
became increasingly electronic,
his experience was outdated.
Furthermore,
he said
all machines are made
too complicated
with more options
than we can ever need.
In his home
he only bought
appliances
small and large
from the 1950’s and 1960’s.
Easy for him to use,
didn’t often break,
and repaired
much more easily
than
the dishwashers,
washing machines,
ovens,
and food processors
with a myriad of options.
Most he found
on EBAY
and parts too!
Innovation
could be more effective,
our land fills less full
if innovation includes
simplification
for the main uses of
whatever function
the innovation is
intended to contribute.
As the title of John Gray’s book says,
“Men are from Mars,
Women are from Venus.”
Men want to solve problems.
Women want to be heard, share emotions.
Listening might be the answer for both.
Steinfeld, another sage,
told a joke
about listening.
When asked whether
his wife
ever
said
“You don’t listen”
he replied,
“I’ve never heard her say that!”
As I laughed,
a lightbulb went off
in my head.
After decades of marriage,
my husband will often say
what I just said.
This is not from many years
of marriage and the comment
that people finish each other’s sentences.
My insight
is that
sometimes
he is listening inside his head to his own thoughts
and doesn’t actually HEAR
what I am saying.
It is his inner dialogue,
not a conversation.
I am not
pointing the finger at him
but the reality
about listening in general.
Studies have shown
that
only 7% of what we say
is understood
in the way
we intend it.
It is a wonder
that
we understand each other
at all.
Men and women,
children and parents,
people who work together,
any human interaction.
What I am learning
is
to test the meaning,
what is being understood.
We may think
we know what we mean
and are conveying that.
We may not be heard
or we may not listen
or
the way in which
it is said or written,
is not the intention and meaning.
CLARIFY!
Spiritual but not religious.
What does that mean
to you
or to others?
Pew Research Center
polls
these trends.
Their findings
show
the number of people
unaffiliated
with any religious body
is continuing
to grow
at a rapid pace.
The number is
about one-fifth
of the U.S. public
and
one-third
of adults under thirty.
However,
two-thirds
of this
unaffiliated group
say they
believe in God.
Churches and places
of worship
are being sold
and re-purposed.
One denomination
buys and forms
a new congregation,
a community
with another way
for worship.
Empty churches
can be
discouraging.
Some people and families
are coming together in
different places,
some in homes
where
as the Bible
says,
“Wherever there are more
than two people gathered,
there am I
in their midst.”
Spiritual but not religious.
Is that how you feel?
Are you seeking
others
to create
new rituals
which express
and become
community
for you?
Ritual
Tradition
Out of the darkness of winter
Primal celebration
Holy Week
Passover
Easter
Some continue to come together
Honor
those who have gone before.
Some are too busy
or don’t believe rituals and traditions
are important anymore,
at least to them.
Have we lost a gift of community
leaving rituals and traditions
in the past?
Can we find a way to be grateful for the gifts
of life, light, new growth?
Seeing beauty
All around
Can bring dissonance
into harmony.
Seeing beauty, being grateful
for a bird’s song,
green shoots poking through layers,
for the smile of another.
Love is the ritual we can
all share.
Living Lines Moment by Moment 