As the title of John Gray’s book says,

“Men are from Mars,

Women are from Venus.”

Men want to solve problems.

Women want to be heard, share emotions.

Listening might be the answer for both.

Steinfeld, another sage,

told a joke

about listening.

When asked whether

his wife

ever

said

“You don’t listen”

he replied,

“I’ve never heard her say that!”

As I laughed,

a lightbulb went off

in my head.

After decades of marriage,

my husband will often say

what I just said.

This is not from many years

of marriage and the comment

that people finish each other’s sentences.

My insight

is that

sometimes

he is listening inside his head to his own thoughts

and doesn’t actually HEAR

what I am saying.

It is his inner dialogue,

not a conversation.

I am not

pointing the finger at him

but the reality

about listening in general.

Studies have shown

that

only 7% of what we say

is understood

in the way

we intend it.

It is a wonder

that

we understand each other

at all.

Men and women,

children and parents,

people who work together,

any human interaction.

What I am learning

is

to test the meaning,

what is being understood.

We may think

we know what we mean

and are conveying that.

We may not be heard

or we may not listen

or

the way in which

it is said or written,

is not the intention and meaning.

CLARIFY!